Sometimes I hear through the grapevine, in the cohesive community where my regional comprehensive university is located, of a recent graduate who is using calculus in an unauthorized way. Perhaps this person is an engineer optimizing a process in one of our remaining local industries, an executive maximizing profit in a new venture, or even a soccer mom or dad doodling on a fast-food wrapper, trying to figure out the best location for defensive players in terms of how much of the field they can control.